Durga Puja

Durga Puja Durga Puja is performed during the autumn season every year. For the Hindus, it is the greatest festival. The puja is held for the three consecutive days: the Saptami, the Austami and the Navami; and on the fourth day, the Dashami, the image is immersed in the water ofa tank or a river. The image is worshipped along with those of other deities like Lakshmi, Saraswati, Ganesh and Kartikeya. The frame, on which the said images are installed, contains also the image of Asura (demon) and the lion, the vehicle of goddess Durga.There is also a rat at the feet of Ganesh. There is a chal-chitra which is a circular canvas of mat containing paintings of heavenly scenes placed at the back of the idols. The entire frame of the gods and goddesses is placed on a raised platform or altar made of wooden plunks. The mandap is decorated savilion with beautiful illumination. Every evening, the priest performs aarati, or greets goddess by waiving lamps and incense in accompani ment of the bea ting of drums, while the puja (worship) isSuring this great festival' the Hindus buy new clothes for their near and dear ones- They want to forget their past differences with their rivals enemies- After the immersion, on the occasion of Vijaya Dashami, the Hindus embrace one another as a token of love and affection, and distribute sweets among all. Durga Puja is now-a- days more a festival than a religious rite. Sometimes the non-Hindus are also found to participate in the festival as a social gesture. Durga Puja is more popular in Bengal.It is performed with more pomp and grandeur here than in any other state of India. People from neighbouring states come to Calcutta during the time, in order to witness the attractive puja pavilion. Durga Puja is also held at Delhi, Bombay, Madras and other in important cities and towns of India, and also the villages. Durga Puja was first performed in Bengal by a Zaminder (landlord). Then it came to be popular with the introduction of the sarvoJan in pujas performed with the Joint effort of about twelve Zaminders; and hence it is called barwari (twelve years or friends).Now-a-days, Durga Puja is also held at London and New York, where the Indians perform the puja every year. Mother Goddess Durga is considered as the most powerful goddess who is the bestower of strength, prosperity and all the best gifts in life. So the devotees pray to Her for various boons. She killed the demon king Mahishasura who had been troubling the gods and goddesses and occupied Indra's throne in heaven. So the Mahisasuramardini. The legend is incorporated in Sri Sri Chand', a chapter in the Markandeya Purana composed by sage Markandeya.

8ps of Services Marketing

Assignment Of Services Marketing Topic Develop 8Ps of Services marketing for any new service Submitted To Mr. Selman Rabbani Submitted By Syeda Sahar Fatima Kanza Khurshid MBA 6(A) Registration # 20381 and 20351 Bahria University Karachi Campus Dated 24-10-2012 THE FLAGENCE JEWEL INN (BRIDAL JEWELLERY ON RENT) Following are the 8Ps of services marketing for this new Service. In which we provide service of all types of Silver and Imitation Bridal jewellery including necklaces, ear rings, Bengals, bracelets, anklets, rings, chains, tika, jhomer and nath. Our target market is upper middle, middle and lower middle class of society. . PRODUCT ELEMENT: * Matching & designer bridal jewellery according to latest fashion. * Matching bridal jewellery according to traditional and cultural taste & demand. * We also have jewellery looking very comprehensive but have very light feeling after wearing it, as it made up of very delicate material. * Also cause no side effects for allergic peoples. 2. PLACE & TIME: * We have our outlets in all major cities of Pakistan. * Bookings can also be done on phone calls. * Our outlets are open from 12:00 noon to midnight. * Safely home deliveries. 3. PRICE: We are using penetrating pricing strategies, 4000 per day function without any further alteration and 4500 with alteration. * Tasty refreshments for our customers. * Individual attention for each customer by sales representatives to reduce their time cost. * Availability of baby chairs. * Special discounted packages for all three days of wedding. 4. PROMOTION AND EDUCATION: * We mostly use the print advertisements in weekly & monthly fashion and general magazines. * Pena-flexes in Shopping Malls and bill boards on busy roads of major cities of Pakistan. * Page on social media and have websites too. Private Cable T. V ads. * For our brand strengthening we establish some business partnering relationships with THE DEVAAS (the bridal dresses on rent outlet) and leading bridal boutiques. 5. PROCESSES: * We make sure that evaluation or feedback card must be filled by each customer while they are leaving the outlet. * We have well trained sales representatives to excellently deal with customers. * Our rent paying system is like this: we ask Rs. 1000 on without alteration jewellery and Rs. 2000 on altered jewellery more, which is refundable when customers return back the jewellery. While on home deliveries this amount is increased by 10% on each type. 6. PHYSICAL ENVIRONMENT: * The glass walls appearance with decent bright lightening enhance the name and outlook of outlets. * Air fresheners and hanging T. Vs are placed on walls to make the inner atmosphere fresh, pleasant and enjoying. * Outlets are centrally air-conditioned. * Proper clean and shiny glass counters are available. * Maximum space is available in outlets to at-least deal with 08 to 10 customers at a time. * Comfortable & smart looking form chairs and besides lying sofas are placed to sit. . PEOPLE: * We ha ve representatives, who are very active, hardworking and friendly also welcoming & dealing customers with very positive gestures and postures. 8. PRODUCTIVITY AND QUALITY: * We keep quality by purchasing that kind of jewellery for rent which is according to accurate demand of customers and made up of material which is totally un-harming and delicate in nature. * We have customer oriented environment and have completely helping sales peoples. * We provide memorable, enjoying & pleasant experience of shopping and of visiting our outlets.

The purpose of Dante's journey Research Paper Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 1500 words

The purpose of Dante's journey - Research Paper Example As such, the story is heavily influenced by the Catholic teachings during his time (the Medieval period) as shown by belief in these three states as well as an earth-centric view of the universe (before a more correct one was discovered by Copernicus and proved by Galileo which is helio-centric, for which he was forced to recant under pain of death during the period of the Inquisition) as evidenced by the story's placement of Hell at the center of concentric circles that was more or less consistent with the Ptolemic conception of the universe at that time. The story of his journey is an allegory that tells of his resentments at being forced to live outside his country (exiled) due to numerous political enemies who betrayed him. But the story of â€Å"Divine Comedy† has many other allusions to more crucial or important things in life that really matter the most such as loyalty and trust. Further evidence of the other aspects is a reference to the people who cannot decide their minds and practice fence-sitting to wait and see who wins in a political struggle before they will make their own stand known. In a sense, Dante's work is a stinging indictment of the people he had met during his lifetime but offers a redemption for some although a more potent message in this story presented as a collection of poems or songs is that punishment must fit the gravity of the crime committed. Discussion Dolce Stil Novo means the â€Å"sweet new style† in Italian and believed to be first used by Dante himself in a section on Purgatorio. The term actually referred to a new style of writing which was focused more on a theme of love than on any other topic. The new style of Dolce Stil Novo was a literary movement credited with improving the poetry of the time, such as the better quality of intellectual discussions, most especially when it pertains or refers to a female body in an adoring or idolizing manner. But perhaps more importantly, this style of writing conceive d the ideals or features of feminine beauty in terms of being similar to the creatures coming from Paradise. This idealistic form of feminine beauty is compared not to a physical type of beauty but rather in more spiritual terms. As Dante was a foremost exponent of this new writing style, his portrayal of Beatrice (his platonic love) is an example of the kind of love that is angelic and hence the woman served as a bridge to God for divine love. It is no wonder that Beatrice was the one who guided Dante towards Heaven. La Vita Nuova literally means the new life and this pertains to a Medieval genre of the courtly love (a noble expression of love that was at times illicit among members of a nobility) in which the male lover shows his love through his acts chivalry. These acts may constitute of anything that was considered honorable, brave and noble at that time. Courtly love is a special kind of love that is based partly on sexual attraction and spiritual discipline as it is mostly so rt of an unrequited or unfulfilled love (such as that of Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet). It can be best described as an odd mixture of bravery, humility and courtesy with a good sprinkling of adulterous love as well that was a part of the prevailing culture of the nobility. Dante used this style of writing because he himself was a victim of an unrequited love during his childhood as well as into his adulthood. Courtly love as expressed through acts of chivalry is now largely a lost trait among the modern males; today,

Cloud Computing Assignment Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 2250 words

Cloud Computing - Assignment Example According to the research findings the use of cloud computing in businesses exhibits the characteristics of empowerment, agility, reduction of costs involved, device along with location independence and virtualization. It also allows for multi-tenancy, reliability, scalability, performance, security and maintenance of the various applications being utilized in a business. Through empowerment, the concept of cloud computing facilitates the users with the control of all the resources at their disposal. Its agility can always be improved with their user’s ability of re-provisioning technological infrastructural resources. These technologies usually provide interfaces that allow many users to communicate and share resources such as software. Another major advantage of using cloud computing is that it enables users to get accessibility to various systems by using only web browsers such as Mozilla Firefox and Internet explorer. The advantage achieved through the process of virtualiz ation enables the transfer and sharing of resources from one server to another. Multi-tenancy in a cloud computing environment facilitates large pools of users in sharing resources in a business environment, and this minimizes the costs incurred in maintaining the computers. This can easily be achieved through centralization, having peak-load capacities and increasing their utilization and efficiencies. The reliability of cloud computing can be augmented through the use of multiple sites that are redundant. Finally, security is usually achieved through data centralization, increasing the focus on security resources. The maintenance of resources within a cloud computing environment is very easy. This is because the applications do not have to be individually installed in each computer in the business (Buyya, Brogerg & Goscinski, 2011). The applications have their own benefits and limits when being utilized in a business environment. For example, in the usage of an application in a bu siness environment that supports controls on quality and assurance functions, one must consider the various benefits and limits that come with it (Shroff, 2010). The issues of the application tracking the parts that have been rejected while taking actions that are corrective in reconciling the parts to manufacture in the future should be greatly considered. The supporting of similar activities will ensure that the customers to a business remain willing to do business with a company since the quality of their products is always assured. Cloud computing is also quite vital when supporting purchasing along with inventory control systems and firm’s requirements in the manufacturing process. The use of this form of computing in this field enables the supporting of all

Gender and Culture Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 750 words

Gender and Culture - Essay Example All throughout my college life, I always used to depend on others view and advise to make any decision. Everything changed once I entered the organization. My boss always believed that people should make their own decisions and work on them. He expected the same from us. He made sure that I attended all the meetings with the clients and handled them single handedly. After the meetings, I was asked for opinion on the client. Initially I found it difficult and felt that my Boss was testing my performance. As days went on, I found that I started making my own decisions. This affected me personally as well as professionally. I was given the real freedom to make my choice. I transformed from being a dependent person to an independent person. I did not wait for approval from others and I enjoyed the responsibility which was placed on me. This effort by the people of the organization helped me a lot to make my own decisions and stand by them. It has influenced me in a positive way both in m y professional and personal life. Gaining Confidence During my college days, I feared to express myself, my views and ideas to everyone. The confidence in me was missing. My organization gave me more responsibilities which helped me increase my confidence level. People around me always told me that I was very talented and can do better than what I was doing. I was asked to lead a group of talented individuals for an important proposal. The outcome was that our organization won that proposal and I gained confidence on myself. Now I am willing to be defeated by the world since I have the confidence that I can win in any situation. Their way of teaching and giving me responsibilities is betterment for me and helped me a lot. This was one of the most important phases of my life since confidence and belief in my abilities helped me in my work. Sign of transformation from a Boy to Man. Facing my Fears People in my organization always believed in taking risks to succeed. For a person who a lways used to hide from fears, this thinking was never in synchronization with me. I always had doubts on my ability and was feared whether I could face the people and world around me. My organization conducted the â€Å"Innovative idea† session every three months where everyone had to present a new idea which would help the business grow. Initially I feared and did not perform well. Looking at this, my colleagues spoke to me and made me rehearse the presentation every time before I made the presentation. After few days, I was asked to do a similar presentation ad I fearless like never before. This technique by the people in my organization helped me in a long way. I now have a habit of taking risk to succeed without fearing what the outcome could be. This has changed compared to my college days where I feared my failures and never expressed my ideas. My organization has helped me in a way where I have transformed from a Boy to a Man. Controlling emotions These sequences also helped me to control my emotions. I learnt that no matter what happens, one should keep their emotions in check. Happiness and sorrow are the two faces of life and one should meet both equally without fear. People in my organization played a huge role in developing me. From being a feared, low on confidence and dependent person, my organization’s values have made me a confident and independent person. With the ever increasing competition to succeed, this transformation is important for everybody. They need to be strong if they are

Macroeconomic problem Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 1500 words

Macroeconomic problem - Essay Example The amount of money supplied by the government fixed by Fed hence making it perfectly inelastic. b) In our situation, the equilibrium interest rate will be 5.8% as this is the point of intersection of the supply curve and the money demand curve. C) When the economy is at full employment, an increase in money supply will not result in an increase in the output. In this case, the increased money supplied will result in increased level of inflation. The excess money pumped in the economy will chase the same quantity of goods and services thereby making their prices to inflate. Normally, the increases in the money supply is intended to stimulate economic growth by reducing the level of interest rates (Floyd 58). In the case of full employment, all the resources are already utilized and the increased money supplied will not achieve the intended purpose of increasing production level. Besides, the increased inflation will make the local currency unstable and discourage foreign investors fr om holding the local currency. This can adversely affect the investment levels and increase the economic problems. Fed decision to increase money supply can be propelled by several factors. First, an increase in money supply can be aimed at increasing the level of expenditure in the economy. By increasing the level of money supply, the government will increase the amount of wealth held by individuals. This makes them increase their expenditure to stimulate economic growth. Money spent in both consumption and investment will increase because of the increase in the disposable income (Floyd 63). Individuals will as well increase the proportion of their investments in bonds, as they will use the excess money to buy bonds and shares in the capital markets. Secondly, Fed can decide to increase the money supply to stimulate investments. An increase in money supply will result in a fall in the nominal interest rates, which will further result in the fall in the real interest rates. Due to t he fall in interest rates, the cost of borrowings will be reduced. Potential investors will therefore be encouraged to borrow and acquire capital necessary in pursuing their investment plans. Consequently, the increased investments will increase the level of employment because of the increased economic activities. Sometimes, the government through Fed can decide to increase the level of money supply to cause an increase the price levels by a desirable margin. According to the quantity theory of money, price levels depend directly on the money supply. In the long-run therefore, an increase in money supply will result in an increase in the price level by equal proportion. Fed can have this objective during the period of recession or depression when the level of economic activities is low to stimulate economic activities and increase the quantity of purchases. In addition, a decrease in the interest rates will increase the demand of the local currency hence cause depreciation in the cu rrency. This is because in an open economy, interest rates parity must always be preserved. This will cause the currency to fall with a further expectation that it will fall faster in the future. The depreciation in the local currency will make the cost of local goods cheaper and attractive thereby causing a surge in both the foreign and local demand (Floyd

Developmental Case Study Personal Statement Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 1500 words

Developmental Case Study - Personal Statement Example Considering two theoretical models and developmental theories the developmental challenges could be highlighted with research findings related to social, biological, emotional and cognitive development. Understanding the social and emotional aspects of development would be as important as understanding the other environmental or biological factors and how these affect overall development of an individual. In this case particularly my development as a father and as a [professional would be examined within the social, environmental, emotional and biological context. The developmental challenges are shown considering contemporary developmental theories and the social and emotional aspects of development within this specific case study are also considered. The perspective here is from my own. I am a 28 year old African American male and I live in California, working for a San Diego middle school where I work as a counselor. ... I will focus on how these two developmental theories fit in within my case and how the professional or personal development of a counselor in a middle school could be explained with the help of such theories and perspectives. Consedine and Magai (2003) carried on studies that delineated the patterns of attachment of children and young adults and highlighted that more attention should be given to the concept of lifespan development. Bowlby's claim to the attachment theory has implications for an entire lifespan and shows the relations between attachment and emotions in older adults. In this study by Consedine and Magai(2003) , a sample of 1118 adults completed measures of attachment on differential emotions scale and different dimensions of attachment were related to different emotions. With more attachment to people or particular tasks, there would be less feelings of guilt or shame or contempt and more happiness. However less attachment would also imply less joy. Avoidance has been associated with anxiety in a situation and the life or young and the old tend to show similar patterns of attachment-emotions relations although there may be some developmental differences. The developmentalist- functionalist theories of emotions bring out the implications on how emotions function in attachment systems and how they drive social relations across the lifespan of an individual (Consedine and Magai, 2003). This would have direct relations with this particularly case study as a 28 year old father of two and school professional would also be shaped by his different emotio ns and attachment and this would define his interactions, professional as well as personal relationships. Thus through the developmental stages I have developed as a boy to a

Business final report Research Paper Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 2000 words

Business final report - Research Paper Example Economically, Wal-Mart has been able to expand its sale to almost 50% even during the recession. Wal-Mart has been admired worldwide due to its social aspect in respecting it customers and other individual who form part of their social life. In addition, Wal-Mart has been able to create environmental sustainability through submission of important sustainability goals. However, the company has had allegations of disregarding its employee’s rights. In another dimension, Wal-Mart is a leader in the use and application of technology in the effort to maximize operational efficiency. I would like to thank all those helped me in the research. In particular, I would like to thank Dr. J.L Waltman for being part of my research as he guided me through, especially on the best approach to use in order to perfect my report. Table of Contents 1.1 Introduction 4 1.2 Political Factors 4 1.3 Economic factors 5 1.4 Social Factors 7 1.5 Environmental factors 8 1.6 Legal factors 9 1.7 Technologica l factors 10 1.8 Conclusion 11 References: 12 1.1 Introduction Wal-Mart is one of the renowned supermarket brands in America running numerous chains of large departmental store and warehouse stores (Wal-Mart Stores, Inc., 2011). Apparently, the multinational store has been able to maintain its thriving market especially in the United States of America and other parts of the world (Matusitz & Lord, 2013). According to a research that was conducted in regard to Wal-Mart operations, it is evident that the multinational corporation has immensely gained a negative bad image in most part of the world where most of its stores and branches are found (Hicks, 2009). In light of this, Wal-Mart is continuously seeking to lessen the brand image through ensuring that they work professionally. 1.2 Political Factors Initially, Wal-Mart Corporation has placed its stores in the United States of America and other parts of the world. As such, it is important to ensure that there is political stability in such countries as this plays a huge role in maintaining market. If it happens that the some of the countries where some of the branches are suffer from political instability, it is advisable for the corporation to withdraw it market avoid poor market generated through politics in specific countries. Similarly, the corporation should be aware of the different government regulations and deregulation in the United States of America and other foreign countries such as Canada, Argentina, and China where the branches are situated (Karlgaard, 2013). Also, it is worth noting that government regulation and deregulation varies according to different countries. Any organization, corporation or business entity that wants to thrive in business must work within the regulations of a given country or state. In relation to this, the corporation should ensure that it follows the trade restrictions that are used in all its locations. In relation to this, Wal-Mart has continuously paid tax in all th e countries that its branches are located. Payment of taxes indicates that the corporation is politically responsible and is ready to work and follow the rules and regulations of the given countries. 1.3 Economic factors Economic factors specifically affect the corporation’s operations, as well as, the making of its decisions. Thus, there is must be economic growth, substantial rates of interest, over and above,

The Security payment in E- commerce Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 2000 words

The Security payment in E- commerce - Essay Example Internet can be considered as one of the most revolutionary inventions of the last century [2]. It is used by different people for different reasons; some people use it to communicate with the other end of the world, some use it to increase their knowledge with the vast information available online [1]. Another area that has made a prominent name in the World Wide Web is E-commerce. E-commerce, which is the process of business transactions on the web; is preferred for its simplicity and ease [3]. However, one of the factors that cause a great degree of concern for customers and merchants is the level of security involved with these business transactions [4], [15]. The mode of payment in e-commerce transactions is through ‘credit cards’; which have established more opportunities for businessmen but at the same time introduced new problems in the whole process of selling goods. The fear of fraud in online business transactions keeps on increasing every year due to the increase in the respective crime [8], [39], [40]. According to National Consumers League statistics for the year 2007; millions of dollars were lost in e-shopping transactions and have exposed the weakness of the credit card payment system [5]. Credit card fraud and identity theft [11] are the two most prevalent security risks. In the past, many efforts have been done to secure online transactions and make this medium a trusting one. During such efforts, the protocol of Secure Electronic Transactions (SET) was developed to secure credit card information from several kinds of attacks present online [6]. Secure Socket Layer (SSL) also helps in providing a secure environment as it provides an encrypted medium to transfer credit card information [7]. The use of biometric has also been proposed by one of the researchers; this proved helpful to prevent identity theft and any false authorization regarding the credit card information. Numerous aspects have to be considered

Noblest Roman of All Essay Example for Free

Noblest Roman of All Essay The noblest Roman of them all, according to Marc Antony, was Brutus one of the conspirators who stabbed Caesar to death. The note of regret here is ironic, to say the least, because Antony raised the army which has destroyed Brutus. Thats what brings me to say Marcus Antonius is in fact the actual Noblest Roman of them all. Brutus and his group of conspirators brutally murdered Caesar, whom Antony was very loyal to. Yet after the conspirators were killed Antony praised Brutus, not curse him as others expected him to. He believed of all the conspirators, only Brutus thought of the common good, and had honest intentions toward the general populace. The rest merely envied Caesars greatness; Brutus thought it a real threat to the Republic. He recognized Brutus as an honest man who was blinded by others with bad intentions. And in my opinion it takes a noble man to recognize another noble man. Marc Antony was not a man of many weaknesses but, if you had to pin one on him, it would have to be that his name wasnt as prestigious as some of his predecessors. Marcus Brutus was a very popular man, because, he was basically Caesars right hand man. Some would argue that No one would know Caesar better than Brutus, but that didnt stop Antony. Even though he wasnt as popular as Marcus Brutus, he somehow swayed the crowd in his favor. One of Marc Antonys greater strengths was his oratory skills. He was a great orator and he used that to his advantage. He had a penchant for superlatives. The noblest Roman of them all directly echoed The most unkindest cut of all . In effect, he paints Brutus, at different times, both as a villain and as a superlative Roman. In both cases, Antony is aware of the rhetorical necessities of the situation. Marc Antony was the noblest roman of all because he risked his life for an already dead man but he approached the beast without flinching. He put aside his fears to stand up for justice. He even paid his respect to one of the conspirators Brutus because even though he commited a heinous crime, Brutus was just confused, and Antony had enough wisdom to realize

Impact of Economic Events on FTSE 100 Corporations

Impact of Economic Events on FTSE 100 Corporations

Banquos Purpose in Shakespeares Macbeth Essay -- essays research pap

Banquo's purpose in the play is the quintessential foil of Macbeth, both in acting, as well as in meaning. Shakespeare utilizes Banquo in order to create opposite moods to what is the drive of the play, which is Macbeth and his wife plotting, scheming, and murdering, by offering great solid blocks of integrity, passion, and goodness, that slightly descend into questioning. In contrast to Macbeth's ambitious state, his transformation into an immoral form of such a state, and his acting on such, Shakespeare creates Banquo in order to give the reader a feeling for contrasting points in order to augment, and practically create, the play. When confronted by the Weà ¯rd Sisters for the first time, both Macbeth and Banquo are given prophesies, however, the wiser Banquo is able to qualm his curiosity. Banquo attempts to share his knowledge with Macbeth by explaining ?to win us to our harm, the instruments of darkness tell us truths to betray?s in deepest consequence (I.iii). Banquo immediately questions the prophecies and their potential, wisely tempering his ambition without further ...

Notes on Chemical Bonding :: Chemistry

Chemical notes on bonding Ionic bonding - This occurs between metals and non metals - Fe2+/3+, Cu+/2+, Zn2+, No3- - Metals loose electrons, non metals gain electrons. - Ionic compounds conduct electricity when dissolved, but not when solid, they also have high m & b points due to strong giant 3d lattice. They are also soluble in water as they have a charge - Metal atoms always form positive charged electrons while non metals from negatively charged electrons Metallic Bonding - They conduct electricity due to a sea of delocalised electrons - They have a lattice of positive atoms. - Transition metals contribute both S and D electrons in the sea of electrons - The attraction is between the ions and mobile valence electrons and not between the layers, this means they can bend over each other - The large the number of valence electrons and the smaller the atoms and the stronger the metallic bonding Covalent bonding - Between non metals with high electron values - Can have single, double, or triple bonds Bond strength C – C: single bond, longest type of bond (154) however is the easiest to break (346) C=C: double bond, second longest bond (134) and second hardest to break (598) C=C: triple bond, smallest bond (121) however is the hardest to break (837) Predicting the type of bonding (1) From electronegativity Electronegativity is the strength of an element/atom to pull electrons towards itself. Metals have a very low electronegativity as they lose electrons in ionic bonding, however non metals have a higher electronegativity as they gain electrons in ionic bonding. (2) From position in the periodic table Metal + non metal = ionic bonding Non metal + non metal = covalent bonding Simple molecular structure Molecular covalent bonds have low m & b points because of weak intermolecular forces called Van Der Waals forces. (more on this later) Giant covalent structures Diamond and graphite both have these structures but they are very different. They both have a giant lattice with strong covalent bonds, in the case of Diamond it is 3d and very hard to break in any way, however with graphite it is only 2d so can be broken if cracked in a certain way. These structures have very high melting and boiling points. Buckminsterfullerere A family of ball shaped C-molecules in which there are around 60 atoms which are found in ball shapes. Uses are being investigated in nano-thecnology. These substances are soluble in non-polar solvents Polar bonds The larger the difference in electronegativity the greater the strength of the polar bond. Now the hard stuff

Educational Goals and Philosophy Essay example -- Reflective Writing T

Educational Goals and Philosophy Teaching is a complex occupation that requires as much empathy and emotion as it does educational skill. I had always dreamed of becoming a teacher, and realized after having my own children, that I would not truly be fulfilling my purpose in life if I did not pursue this dream. As a volunteer at the elementary school in my community, I loved the environment and took tremendous joy in watching the children learn. I felt that I had the ability, along with the dedication and desire, it would take to become a full time educator. To achieve this goal I will strive to give my students a positive beginning, provide confidence in their individual abilities, and prepare them for different aspects in life. I plan to teach elementary education, Kindergarten through the sixth grade. I sincerely believe that a child’s first experiences with education help to determine the path that child will choose to follow. The primary years of education sets the pace for an academic career through learning skills in conjunction with an optimistic outlook. A positive, or negative, first experience can determine a child’s attitude toward learning for the duration of a lifetime. I feel that each student has the potential and ability to gain knowledge, though each may have a different learning style. It will be my job, as a teacher, to experiment, explore, and determine the correct technique for each individual. In order to achieve this goal, I will need to be aware of the student’s personality, academic level, and any risk factors that child may have. I will work to inspire, motivate, and instill the confidence needed for each child to reach his/her full potential. I feel the purpose ... ...West Virginia. Once my career has been established, I will join the National Education Association. I will continue my education by pursuing my Master’s degree and attending various seminars and workshops. I want for myself, as well as my students, to be lifetime learners. I plan to stay up to date on current methods, ideas, and curriculums so that I can transfer the knowledge to subsequent generations. As I step closer towards the door of accomplishing my dream, I become more enthusiastic each day. To have the ability to influence, empower, and shape a young mind is breathtaking. I will strive to teach each child in a way that will meet his/her individual needs and support him/her to become all that is desired. I will indoctrinate the required knowledge along with other aspects of education that will benefit my students. â€Å"I† will make a difference.

How Should China Establish The Privilege of Silence System in Criminal Proceedings?

1. The origin and the connotations of the Privilege of Silence. â€Å"Miranda warning† originated from a case heard by the U. S. Supreme Court in 1966: an 18-year-old girl was kidnapped and raped, she identified that it was Miranda who did that. The police interrogated Miranda and used his confession as the hearing testimony. After Miranda was convicted he appealed to the Supreme Court on the grounds that the police did not inform him of the right to remain silent, and his confession was concocted under pressure. He said that if he had been told to have a privilege of silence, he would have not made up that confession. After considering all the arguments, the United States Supreme Court ruled the Miranda confession invalid. Because of this jurisprudence, when arresting or interrogating suspects, the police need to say the â€Å"Miranda warning† first. This is how the privilege of silence was born in the judicial system. The Privilege of Silence contains the following connotations: First, the suspect has no obligation to say words which might be detrimental to his/her own, the prosecution agencies or the courts can not use inhuman or degrading methods to force him to say; Second, the suspect has the right to always keep silent during the interrogation, and the judge can not make the adjudication against him/her because his/her silence; Third, before the suspect says the favorable or unfavorable word to him/her, he/she has the right to know the consequences of these words. And he/she must be voluntary to say. If the suspect was forced to speak, the court cannot use these words as the evidence. 2. The Privilege of Silence in China In China, the Privilege of Silence has not yet been established. This is inseparable with China's actual situation. In China’s judicial practice, on one hand, due to the comparatively poorly developed investigation technology, the testimony of the suspect plays an important part in guiding the police to find out the truth. On the other hand, paying attention to the testimony of the suspect can indeed enhance case handling efficiency. However, the neglect of the right of silence begins to constantly expose some problems. For example, some significant wronged cases reported by the media these years show that the problem of â€Å"Confession by Torture† is so severe in China. Although the confession by torture is strictly prohibited by Criminal Law, yet in the investigation, prosecution or trial activity, the phenomenon of torture generally exists. It is not uncommon that the judiciary staff frequently uses threat, enticement, deceit or other illegal methods to collect evidence, which seriously violates the basic human rights guaranteed in the Constitution. Among the various causes of the torture phenomenon, the most important reasons are the ideology of the presumption of guilt and the practice of relying heavily on confessions. Thus the establishment of the privilege of silence plays an important role in effectively combating with this phenomenon. 3. Pros and cons Whether China shall establish a right to silence system? This has long been the hot topic in the legal circles in recent years. The mainly supporting ideas are as following: (1) The establishment of right to silence can help to curb the long-standing phenomenon of confessions by torture. Extracting confessions by torture is a spurned and forbidden behavior in the civilized society. Its typical characteristic is to impose violence or disguised violence on the suspect, severely devastating both the suspect’s physical and psychological health, violating the natural rights of human. (2) It is required by the full implementation of the presumption of innocence. Although the presumption of guilt is prohibited by law, yet in China’s judicial practice, this harmful ideology is not even close to be banned. Under the impact of this ideology, the alleged offender is considered as a criminal and he/she shall be treated as a criminal. So the penalties, the long-term or even indefinite detention, the torture and other inhuman ways can all be imposed on him/her. 3 (3) China has recognized the right of silent advocated by some international rules or meeting, therefore, China needs to make the corresponding provisions in the Code of Criminal Procedure. With the development of international economic and trade, the cultural exchanges between China and foreign countries continue to deepen. You can read also King v Cogdon The technological media makes China’s judicial activities began to be transparent to the world. Thus, to safeguard the image of the country, a high demand of the legality in investigative activities must be assured. (4) The confirmation of the privilege of silence was considered to be one of the most important milestones in human’s fight to the civilization. It ensures the humanity and justice in the criminal proceedings. It reflects the degree of judicial civilization of a country, and is an inevitable requirement of the country according to law. Opponents argue that the country should not create a right of silence system, the right of silence does not meet the conditions of our country, at least for now China does not yet have the conditions to introduce this system, their views mainly include the following: (1) The privilege of silence reduces the effectiveness of the proceedings, and influences the effectiveness of punishing crimes. The confession of the suspect is the shortcut for investigators to identify the facts of the case, but the silent right blocks this shortcut. This right of the suspect would make the investigators’ interrogation right exist in name only. As a result, the search of various potential evidences relies solely on the existing investigation techniques and the professional competence of the investigators, thereby greatly slow down the investigation process, and even stagnating investigative work. There are irreconcilable contradictions between the privilege of silence and the principle of economic proceedings. And if the investigators failed to find relevant evidences other than the confession, the truth of the case would not be identified and the defendant must be released. If the released defendant were the real criminal, then it would undoubtedly indulgent the evil, and would obstruct upholding the social justice. (2) The privilege of silence is bound to increase the cost of litigation. Once the suspect decides to keep silent, investigators then have to spend time and energy, make use of manpower, material and financial resources to search for clues and evidence for the case. Therefore, the establishment of the silent right system will inevitably lead to the increase in the cost of litigation. (3) The privilege of silence cannot fundamentally exclude the confession by torture. The right of silence can help to curb the torture to some degree, but due to a variety of objectively presenting reasons, investigators can always come up with various means or reasons to circumvent the legal responsibility. Therefore, the privilege of silence itself is not the cure of torture. To make the privilege truly serve to inhibit the confession by torture, there must be corresponding establishment of mechanisms to ensure the enforcement of this privilege. (4) In some major crimes of terrorism and organized crimes, the privilege of silence might be used by these â€Å"career criminals†, making them escape from the punishment of law. This is contrary to the original purpose. Despite there are certain flaws exist in the privilege of silence system, However, even criminals should also have their own personal rights, not to mention the suspects, any suspect can not be identified as guilty before the court makes a final judgment, so their right to remain silent should not be illegally infringed. If such a close judicial procedure could not be ensured, then the remote â€Å"eternal justice† would be doomed to remain as utopia. The reason that the Americans has accepted the â€Å"Miranda warning† and would tolerate the side effects of the Miranda rule is that they believe that the law’s first function is to suppress the public authority, secondary is to suppress the dangerous social criminals. 1 If the public authority were out of control, its harms to the society would be far more than those of personal crimes. Letting go the murderers may make the justice come late, but letting loose the public power may ultimately distort and devaluate justice. If the authority were abused to protect the so-called justice, it would be extremely possible that some legal-abiding citizens might be pushed into the abyss of evil. By then, even if it punished crimes a hundred times, it would not offset the pains that a kind person had gone through from one injustice. Even though the build of the privilege of silence system is the trend, it is important for us to realize that there are objective flaws exist in this system, efforts should be made to prevent its negative effects. According to the current conditions of the country, my suggestion is to confirm a limited right of silence. 4. Recommendations: Build a limited privilege of silence system. The right of Silence System is an integrated system that contains many aspects of deep-seated factors in the litigation. Thus the establishment of the right of silence system is not a simple task, but a systematic project, including the legislators' decision-making, the public’s recognition and support, the corresponding operational mechanism and the appropriate protection mechanism. Therefore, under current conditions, the country needs to establish a minimum mechanism of protection of the right to silence. (1) Comprehensively establish the principle of the presumption of innocence. The principle of the presumption of innocence is one of the basic principles in the criminal proceedings and is a generally recognized criminal procedure principle for modern countries under the rule of law. And the right of silence system is the necessary logic requirement of the principle of the presumption of innocence. The Article 12 of the Code of Criminal Procedure in China stipulates: â€Å"No person shall be found guilty without being judged as such by a People's Court according to law. † It has absorbed the spirit of the presumption of innocence. Therefore, the Code of Criminal Procedure should further clarify the principle of the presumption of innocence. This is the theoretical basis for and the guarantee of implementation of the privilege of silence system. Accordingly, the Article 12 can be modified to: â€Å"Every person should be regarded as innocent before the Court’s effective verdict. Every suspect has the privilege of silence, unless his/her privilege of silence is excluded by law. † (2) Expressly exclude the rule of self-incrimination and clearly confirm the privilege of silence. Prohibit making any adverse inference because of the suspect’s silence. Cancel the obligation stipulated in the Criminal Procedure Law that requires the suspects to answer questions truthfully. There is a close connection between the exclusion of self-incrimination and the privilege of silence. And the exclusion of self-incrimination should be a basic principle for the criminal proceedings. Therefore this principle could be added in the first chapter of the Code of Criminal Procedure—-the tasks and basic principles, namely: â€Å"any person can not be compelled to testify against himself/herself, suspects and defendants in criminal proceedings have the right to remain silent, unless his/her right of silence is excluded by law. Prohibit regarding the suspects’ and the defendants’ silence as aggravating circumstances. There is a contradiction between the right of silence and the obligation to honestly state. Therefore, to ensure the exercise of the privilege of silence, the 93 Article of the Code of Criminal Procedure stipulates that the suspect must answer the investigators' questions truthfully should be removed. 7 (3) Establish Illegal Oral Evidence exclusionary rule and arbitrary confession rule. These are two important rules in the rules of evidence and are institutional guarantees for the privilege of silence and can help curb the phenomenon of confession by torture. Illegal evidence exclusion rules require all illegal or improper obtained evidences (rather than confession out of free will) should be absolutely ruled out, and confessions cannot be proven beyond reasonable doubt should also be excluded. Arbitrary confession rule puts that, unless the law explicitly limits, the confessions are effective only under the circumstances that the suspects voluntarily, intentionally and rationally give up their rights of silence. In China, the Criminal Procedure Law of the People's Republic of China clearly stipulates that Judges, prosecutors and investigators must, in accordance with legal procedures, collect various evidence that can confirm the suspect’s and the defendant's guilt or innocence, or the gravity of his/her crime; extorting confessions by torture, threatening, enticing, tricking or other illegal methods are strictly forbidden in collecting evidence; and any person shall not be compelled to prove his own guilt. Therefore, based on the existing spirit of law, we can further confirm the evidence exclusion rules. In the Article 46 of the Code of Criminal Procedure, after the existing â€Å"†¦ credence shall not be readily given to oral statements†,7 we can further add â€Å"where extorting confessions by torture or threat, inducement, fraud, extended detention or other illegal methods that are used to obtain the testimony of witnesses, statements of victims and the confessions of the suspect can be verified, then these confessions shall not be used to accuse a crime or make a judgment. (4) Establish systems to encourage the defendant to testify, including the testimony immunity system and leniency programs. The right to silence does not mean that suspects cannot speak, nor that to encourage suspects to not confess, but to give him/her the right to choose whether to remain silent or to make a statement, this is to protect his/ her basic human rights. The law does not prohibit self- incrimination, but prohibits forced self-incrimination. In America, for example, through the Plea Bargaining, the offender's guilty plea rate is up to 90%. To minimize the side effects of the right to silence system, we shall establish some relevant systems to ensure that the defendant actively cooperates with the judicial authorities in a timely manner to investigate the facts. First, through legalizing the leniency policies to encourage the defendant to admit guilt initiatively, making the confession the legal circumstances of leniency, rather than just discretionary circumstances. The second is to establish testimony immunity system. Prohibit using some of the defendant’s statements to testify against herself/himself, and exempt the according criminal responsibilities. But note the testimony immunity system should only be applied to some significant and complex cases, for example, organized crime, triad societies, smart crime, corruption and bribery crime, transnational crime or other major crimes. (5) Improve the witness system. The testimony of witnesses is an important means to expose and prove the criminal. The establishment of right to silence system will make the Criminal proceedings mainly rely on evidences other than confessions. Consequently, the role of the witness testimony will be more prominent and more important. Therefore, the Code of Criminal Procedure should stipulate that witnesses must appear in court, and construct supporting measures to improve the attendance of witnesses and to ensure the witnesses provide testimony objectively and sufficiently. First, we must establish system to force witness to court and clear the legal consequences of the illegal testimony. The second is to establish a material compensation system and the security guarantee system for the witness, eliminating their worries. 6) Establish the Notification of Procedural Rights and the Lawyer Presence Right mechanisms, protect the suspect’s meeting right and communication right. These are the important procedural safeguards for the full implementation of the right to silence, without which, the right of silence would merely be a meaningless rule. It is impossible for people to exercise their rights if they don’t know them. And the judicial officers may use the misleading and unclear circumstances to lure confessions. To make the suspects be clearly informed of their rights prior to the interrogation is a common practice and consensus in most countries. Therefore, the law must stipulate detailed requirements to the notification system, including the time and specific issues of the notification, statutory interpretation obligations and the consequences of having failed to perform the duties and responsibilities. Due to the suspects are not necessarily familiar with the law, without the assistance of counsel, the right to silence is difficult to be well implemented. The lawyer presence right is an effective way to avoid confession by torture and to ensure the exercise of the right of silence. In China’s criminal proceedings, the lawyer’s involvement degree is very low, especially compared to the developed countries. Therefore, according to the country’s conditions, except some major cases, such as cases involves national security, complex organized crime cases, the Code of Criminal Procedure should endow the presence right to the lawyer. Through protecting the meeting rights and communication rights of the suspects, the law can prevent or reduce the coercion to the suspects in custody. Therefore, the law should reduce the limits to the suspect’s meet and communication. Of course, in some special cases, to protect some significant social interests, the law can set up necessary exceptions, review or control the suspect’s meeting and communication rights. (7) Establish some exceptions to the right of silence. To decide whether or not a suspect will be endowed the right of silence in a case, the specific issues need to be analyzed first. In some special cases, the suspects’ right of silence should be restricted. These restrictions are to seek the unification between individual rights and the social interest. According to this principle, at least it seems to me, the following crimes should be excluded: A. Crimes of endangering national security, financial fraud crime and computer crime. The country's interests are above everything else, to effectively safeguard national security and fight against both domestic and foreign hostile forces, the chapter one of the Criminal Law–crimes of endangering national security—could be excluded. The intelligent crimes have become increasingly prominent and due to the limits of the country’s investigative techniques, the high-tech crimes are to difficult to detect. Thus, at least for now it is not appropriate to give such criminals the privilege of silence. B. Smuggling, narcotics, money laundering, robbery and other severe joint crime, criminal syndicate and underworld crime and other organized crime. In crimes such as smuggling, narcotics and money laundering, criminals usually use one-way communication. Thus the confessions of the suspects play a crucial role in revealing the cases’ causes, backgrounds and processes, and the relationships between the accomplices. If they were given the right to silence, the real culprits behind the scene would not likely to be captured. Organized crime has the following characteristics: numerous people, strict organization, huge hazards or potential harms and hard to track down. Such cases are very difficult to catch, of accomplices, confessions plays the pivotal role. Therefore the confessions of the captured suspects tend to play a decisive role in such cases. C. Corruption, bribery and huge unidentified property cases. At present, China is in a period of high incidence of corruption cases, the fight against corruption is a long-term and arduous task. In order to effectively combat corruption and bribery, to curb and reduce the incidence of job-related crimes, it is recommended that those crimes are being excluded. Besides, most criminal subjects in these crimes hold an important authority; have a certain degree of education background and social status. Which means they have wide social relations and strong social activities ability, and often have both preparations before and countermeasures after the crime. Such strong anti-investigative capacities often interfere the detection processes. The investigation of these crimes would be harder if they were endowed with the privilege of silence, which would damage the interests of the country. D. Cases relate to public safety and emergency situations. For crimes involving public safety, if not got confessions in time, significant public safety hazard would happen. For life threatening cases, if the suspect did not immediately provide the place of where the victims were hidden, the personal safety of the victims would be endangered. Thus the privilege of silence should be excluded in these cases. For example, kidnapping, illegal detention, unaccounted dangerous goods crimes such as poisons, firearms, ammunitions and explosives. To these cases, at the trial stage, the privilege of silence is undoubtedly applied, but at the interrogation stage, whether or not the privilege of silence should be given need to be identified by the judges. E. The defendant should not keep silent on some crimes unrelated basic personal information. Such information includes name, identity, age, occupation, address and so on. This is in order to combat crime effectively and accurately, and to avoid unnecessary losses. (8) Improve the construction of the judicial organs. The establishment of the privilege of silence system is the trend, which put forward higher requirements for the construction of the judicial organs. The judicial offices should actively respond to this trend and try to improve themselves in the following two ways: First, update the judicial notions of the staff and weaken the confession’s role in evidence system. In current criminal proceedings, the confession is known as the â€Å"king of the evidence†, the value and importance of the confession is extremely exaggerated. This notion is still deeply rooted in the minds of many judicial officers, which is contrary to the requirements of the right of silence system. Therefore, the judicial organs should change their concepts, and establish the concept of human rights protection, and resolutely put an end to the behavior of extracting confessions. Second, use high-tech to equip judicial organs, and to improve their investigation abilities. The establishment of the privilege of silence system will makes the judicial officers pay more attention to obtaining external evidence rather than confessions. Which requires the country to increase investment in technology and equipment of the investigative organs, to improve the standards of the investigators, and to actualize scientific investigation. With the development of the litigation civilization and the improvement of the detection capability, the number of the unpunished criminals will be gradually reducing, and the side effects of the privilege of silence system will be minimized.

The Twilight Saga 5: Midnight Sun 3. Phenomenon

Truly, I was not thirsty, but I decided to hunt again that night. A small ounce of prevention, inadequate though I knew it to be. Carlisle came with me; we hadn't been alone together since I'd returned from Denali. As we ran through the black forest, I heard him thinking about that hasty goodbye last week. In his memory, I saw the way my features had been twisted in fierce despair. I felt his surprise and sudden worry. â€Å"Edward?† â€Å"I have to go, Carlisle. I have to go now.† â€Å"What's happened?† â€Å"Nothing. Yet. But it will, if I stay.† He'd reached for my arm. I felt how it had hurt him when I'd cringed away from his hand. â€Å"I don't understand.† â€Å"Have you ever†¦has there ever been a time†¦Ã¢â‚¬  I watched myself take a deep breath, saw the wild light in my eyes through the filter of his deep concern. â€Å"Has any one person ever smelled better to you than the rest of them? Much better?† â€Å"Oh.† When I'd known that he understood, my face had fallen with shame. He'd reached out to touch me, ignoring it when I'd recoiled again, and left his hand on my shoulder. â€Å"Do what you must to resist, son. I will miss you. Here, take my car. It's faster.† He was wondering now if he'd done the right thing then, sending me away. Wondering if he hadn't hurt me with his lack of trust. â€Å"No,† I whispered as I ran. â€Å"That was what I needed. I might so easily have betrayed that trust, if you'd told me to stay.† â€Å"I'm sorry you're suffering, Edward. But you should do what you can to keep the Swan child alive. Even if it means that you must leave us again.† â€Å"I know, I know.† â€Å"Why did you come back? You know how happy I am to have you here, but if this is too difficult†¦Ã¢â‚¬  â€Å"I didn't like feeling a coward,† I admitted. We'd slowed – we were barely jogging through the darkness now. â€Å"Better that than to put her in danger. She'll be gone in a year or two.† â€Å"You're right, I know that.† Contrarily, though, his words only made me more anxious to stay. The girl would be gone in a year or two†¦ Carlisle stopped running and I stopped with him; he turned to examine my expression. But you're not going to run, are you? I hung my head. Is it pride, Edward? There's no shame in – â€Å"No, it isn't pride that keeps me here. Not now.† Nowhere to go? I laughed shortly. â€Å"No. That wouldn't stop me, if I could make myself leave.† â€Å"We'll come with you, of course, if that's what you need. You only have to ask. You've moved on without complaint for the rest of them. They won't begrudge you this.† I raised one eyebrow. He laughed. â€Å"Yes, Rosalie might, but she owes you. Anyway, it's much better for us to leave now, no damage done, than for us to leave later, after a life has been ended.† All humor was gone by the end. I flinched at his words. â€Å"Yes,† I agreed. My voice sounded hoarse. But you're not leaving? I sighed. â€Å"I should.† â€Å"What holds you here, Edward? I'm failing to see†¦Ã¢â‚¬  â€Å"I don't know if I can explain.† Even to myself, it made no sense. He measured my expression for a long moment. No, I do not see. But I will respect your privacy, if you prefer. â€Å"Thank you. It's generous of you, seeing as how I give privacy to no one.† With one exception. And I was doing what I could to deprive her of that, wasn't I? We all have our quirks. He laughed again. Shall we? He'd just caught the scent of a small herd of deer. It was hard to rally much enthusiasm for what was, even under the best of circumstances, a less than mouthwatering aroma. Right now, with the memory of the girl's blood fresh in my mind, the smell actually turned my stomach. I sighed. â€Å"Let's,† I agreed, though I knew that forcing more blood down my throat would help so little. We both shifted into a hunting crouch and let the unappealing scent pull us silently forward. It was colder when we returned home. The melted snow had refrozen; it was as if a thin sheet of glass covered everything – each pine needle, each fern frond, each blade of grass was iced over. While Carlisle went to dress for his early shift at the hospital, I stayed by the river, waiting for the sun to rise. I felt almost swollen from the amount of blood I'd consumed, but I knew the lack of actual thirst would mean little when I sat beside the girl again. Cool and motionless as the stone I sat on, I stared at the dark water running beside the icy bank, stared right through it. Carlisle was right. I should leave Forks. They could spread some story to explain my absence. Boarding school in Europe. Visiting distant relatives. Teenage runaway. The story didn't matter. No one would question too intensely. It was just a year or two, and then the girl would disappear. She would go on with her life – she would have a life to go on with. She'd go to college somewhere, get older, start a career, perhaps marry someone. I could picture that – I could see the girl dressed all in white and walking at a measured pace, her arm through her father's. It was odd, the pain that image caused me. I couldn't understand it. Was I jealous, because she had a future that I could never have? That made no sense. Every one of the humans around me had that same potential ahead of them – a life – and I rarely stopped to envy them. I should leave her to her future. Stop risking her life. That was the right thing to do. Carlisle always chose the right way. I should listen to him now. The sun rose behind the clouds, and the faint light glistened off all the frozen glass. One more day, I decided. I would see her one more time. I could handle that. Perhaps I would mention my pending disappearance, set the story up. This was going to be difficult; I could feel that in the heavy reluctance that was already making me think of excuses to stay – to extend the deadline to two days, three, four†¦ But I would do the right thing. I knew I could trust Carlisle's advice. And I also knew that I was too conflicted to make the right decision alone. Much too conflicted. How much of this reluctance came from my obsessive curiosity, and how much came from my unsatisfied appetite? I went inside to change into fresh clothes for school. Alice was waiting for me, sitting on the top step at the edge of the third floor. You're leaving again, she accused me. I sighed and nodded. I can't see where you're going this time. â€Å"I don't know where I'm going yet,† I whispered. I want you to stay. I shook my head. Maybe Jazz and I could come with you? â€Å"They'll need you all the more, if I'm not here to watch out for them. And think of Esme. Would you take half her family away in one blow?† You're going to make her so sad. â€Å"I know. That's why you have to stay.† That's not the same as having you here, and you know it. â€Å"Yes. But I have to do what's right.† There are many right ways, and many wrong ways, though, aren't there? For a brief moment she was swept away into one of her strange visions; I watched along with her as the indistinct images flickered and whirled. I saw myself mixed in with strange shadows that I couldn't make out – hazy, imprecise forms. And then, suddenly, my skin was glittering in the bright sunlight of a small open meadow. This was a place I knew. There was a figure in the meadow with me, but, again, it was indistinct, not there enough to recognize. The images shivered and disappeared as a million tiny choices rearranged the future again. â€Å"I didn't catch much of that,† I told her when the vision went dark. Me either. Your future is shifting around so much I can't keep up with any of it. I think, though†¦ She stopped, and she flipped through a vast collection of other recent visions for me. They were all the same – blurry and vague. â€Å"I think something is changing, though,† she said out loud. â€Å"Your life seems to be at a crossroads.† I laughed grimly. â€Å"You do realize that you sound like a bogus gypsy at a carnival now, right?† She stuck her tiny tongue out at me. â€Å"Today is all right, though, isn't it?† I asked, my voice abruptly apprehensive. â€Å"I don't see you killing anyone today,† she assured me. â€Å"Thanks, Alice.† â€Å"Go get dressed. I won't say anything – I'll let you tell the others when you're ready.† She stood and darted back down the stairs, her shoulders hunched slightly. Miss you. Really. Yes, I would really miss her, too. It was a quiet ride to school. Jasper could tell that Alice was upset about something, but he knew that if she wanted to talk about it she would have done so already. Emmett and Rosalie were oblivious, having another of their moments, gazing into each others' eyes with wonder – it was rather disgusting to watch from the outside. We were all quite aware how desperately in love they were. Or maybe I was just being bitter because I was the only one alone. Some days it was harder than others to live with three sets of perfectly matched lovers. This was one of them. Maybe they would all be happier without me hanging around, ill-tempered and belligerent as the old man I should be by now. Of course, the first thing I did when we reached the school was to look for the girl. Just preparing myself again. Right. It was embarrassing how my world suddenly seemed to be empty of everything but her – my whole existence centered around the girl, rather than around myself anymore. It was easy enough to understand, though, really; after eighty years of the same thing every day and every night, any change became a point of absorption. She had not yet arrived, but could I hear the thunderous chugging of her truck's engine in the distance. I leaned against the side of the car to wait. Alice stayed with me, while the others went straight to class. They were bored with my fixation – it was incomprehensible to them how any human could hold my interest for so long, no matter how delicious she smelled. The girl drove slowly into view, her eyes intent on the road and her hands tight on the wheel. She seemed anxious about something. It took me a second to figure out what that something was, to realize that every human wore the same expression today. Ah, the road was slick with ice, and they were all trying to drive more carefully. I could see she was taking the added risk seriously. That seemed in line with what little I had learned of her character. I added this to my small list: she was a serious person, a responsible person. She parked not too far from me, but she hadn't noticed me standing here yet, staring at her. I wondered what she would do when she did? Blush and walk away? That was my first guess. But maybe she would stare back. Maybe she would come to talk to me. I took a deep breath, filling my lungs hopefully, just in case. She got out of the truck with care, testing the slick ground before she put her weight on it. She didn't look up, and that frustrated me. Maybe I would go talk to her†¦ No, that would be wrong. Instead of turning toward the school, she made her way to the rear of her truck, clinging to the side of the truck bed in a droll way, not trusting her footing. It made me smile, and I felt Alice's eyes on my face. I didn't listen to whatever this made her think – I was having too much fun watching the girl check her snow chains. She actually looked in some danger of falling, the way her feet were sliding around. No one else was having trouble – had she parked in the worst of the ice? She paused there, staring down with a strange expression on her face. It was†¦tender? As if something about the tire was making her†¦emotional? Again, the curiosity ached like a thirst. It was as if I had to know what she was thinking – as if nothing else mattered. I would go talk to her. She looked like she could use a hand anyway, at least until she was off the slick pavement. Of course, I couldn't offer her that, could I? I hesitated, torn. As adverse as she seemed to be to snow, she would hardly welcome the touch of my cold white hand. I should have worn gloves – â€Å"NO!† Alice gasped aloud. Instantly, I scanned her thoughts, guessing at first that I had made a poor choice and she saw me doing something inexcusable. But it had nothing to do with me at all. Tyler Crowley had chosen to take the turn into the parking lot at an injudicious speed. This choice would send him skidding across a patch of ice†¦ The vision came just half a second before the reality. Tyler's van rounded the corner as I was still watching the conclusion that had pulled the horrified gasp through Alice's lips. No, this vision had nothing to do with me, and yet it had everything to do with me, because Tyler's van – the tires right now hitting the ice at the worst possible angle – was going to spin across the lot and crush the girl who had become the uninvited focal point of my world. Even without Alice's foresight it would have been simple enough to read the trajectory of the vehicle, flying out of Tyler's control. The girl, standing in the exactly wrong place at the back of her truck, looked up, bewildered by the sound of the screeching tires. She looked straight into my horrorstruck eyes, and then turned to watch her approaching death. Not her! The words shouted in my head as if they belonged to someone else. Still locked into Alice's thoughts, I saw the vision suddenly shift, but I had no time to see what the outcome would be. I launched myself across the lot, throwing myself between the skidding van and the frozen girl. I moved so fast that everything was a streaky blur except for the object of my focus. She didn't see me – no human eyes could have followed my flight – still staring at the hulking shape that was about to grind her body into the metal frame of her truck. I caught her around the waist, moving with too much urgency to be as gentle as she would need me to be. In the hundredth of a second between the time that I yanked her slight form out of the path of death and the time that I crashed into to the ground with her in my arms, I was vividly aware of her fragile, breakable body. When I heard her head crack against the ice, it felt like I had turned to ice, too. But I didn't even have a full second to ascertain her condition. I heard the van behind us, grating and squealing as it twisted around the sturdy iron body of the girl's truck. It was changing course, arcing, coming for her again – like she was a magnet, pulling it toward us. A word I'd never said before in the presence of a lady slid between my clenched teeth. I had already done too much. As I'd nearly flown through the air to push her out of the way, I'd been fully aware of the mistake I was making. Knowing that it was a mistake did not stop me, but I was not oblivious to the risk I was taking – taking, not just for myself, but for my entire family. Exposure. And this certainly wasn't going to help, but there was no way I was going to allow the van to succeed in its second attempt to take her life. I dropped her and threw my hands out, catching the van before it could touch the girl. The force of it hurled me back into the car parked beside her truck, and I could feel its frame buckle behind my shoulders. The van shuddered and shivered against the unyielding obstacle of my arms, and then swayed, balancing unstably on the two far tires. If I moved my hands, the back tire of the van was going fall onto her legs. Oh, for the love of all that was holy, would the catastrophes never end? Was there anything else that could go wrong? I could hardly sit here, holding the van in the air, and wait for rescue. Nor could I throw the van away – there was the driver to consider, his thoughts incoherent with panic. With an internal groan, I shoved the van so that it rocked away from us for an instant. As it fell back toward me, I caught it under the frame with my right hand while I wrapped my left arm around the girl's waist again and drug her out from under the van, pulling her tight up against my side. Her body moved limply as I swung her around so that her legs would be in the clear – was she conscious? How much damage had I done to her in my impromptu rescue attempt? I let the van drop, now that it could not hurt her. It crashed to the pavement, all the windows shattering in unison. I knew that I was in the middle of a crisis. How much had she seen? Had any other witnesses watched me materialize at her side and then juggle the van while I tried to keep her out from under it? These questions should be my biggest concern. But I was too anxious to really care about the threat of exposure as much as I should. Too panic-stricken that I might have injured her myself in my effort to protect her. Too frightened to have her this close to me, knowing what I would smell if I allowed myself to inhale. Too aware of the heat of her soft body, pressed against mine – even through the double obstacle of our jackets, I could feel that heat†¦ The first fear was the greatest fear. As the screaming of the witnesses erupted around us, I leaned down to examine her face, to see if she was conscious – hoping fiercely that she was not bleeding anywhere. Her eyes were open, staring in shock. â€Å"Bella?† I asked urgently. â€Å"Are you all right?† â€Å"I'm fine.† She said the words automatically in a dazed voice. Relief, so exquisite it was nearly pain, washed through me at the sound of her voice. I sucked in a breath through my teeth, and did not mind the accompanying burn in my throat. I almost welcomed it. She struggled to sit up, but I was not ready to release her. It felt somehow†¦safer? Better, at least, having her tucked into my side. â€Å"Be careful,† I warned her. â€Å"I think you hit your head pretty hard.† There had been no smell of fresh blood – a mercy, that – but this did not rule out internal damage. I was abruptly anxious to get her to Carlisle and a full compliment of radiology equipment. â€Å"Ow,† she said, her tone comically shocked as she realized I was right about her head. â€Å"That's what I thought.† Relief made it funny to me, made me almost giddy. â€Å"How in the†¦Ã¢â‚¬  Her voice trailed off, and her eyelids fluttered. â€Å"How did you get over here so fast?† The relief turned sour, the humor vanished. She had noticed too much. Now that it appeared that the girl was in decent shape, the anxiety for my family became severe. â€Å"I was standing right next to you, Bella.† I knew from experience that if I was very confident as I lied, it made any questioner less sure of the truth. She struggled to move again, and this time I allowed it. I needed to breathe so that I could play my role correctly. I needed space from her warm-blooded heat so that it would not combine with her scent to overwhelm me. I slid away from her, as far as was possible in the small space between the wrecked vehicles. She stared up at me, and I stared back. To look away first was a mistake only an incompetent liar would make, and I was not an incompetent liar. My expression was smooth, benign†¦ It seemed to confuse her. That was good. The accident scene was surrounded now. Mostly students, children, peering and pushing through the cracks to see if any mangled bodies were visible. There was a babble of shouting and a gush of shocked thought. I scanned the thoughts once to make sure there were no suspicions yet, and then tuned it out and concentrated only on the girl. She was distracted by the bedlam. She glanced around, her expression still stunned, and tried to get to her feet. I put my hand lightly on her shoulder to hold her down. â€Å"Just stay put for now.† She seemed alright, but should she really be moving her neck? Again, I wished for Carlisle. My years of theoretical medical study were no match for his centuries of hands-on medical practice. â€Å"But it's cold,† she objected. She had almost been crushed to death two distinct times and crippled one more, and it was the cold that worried her. A chuckle slid through my teeth before I could remember that the situation was not funny. Bella blinked, and then her eyes focused on my face. â€Å"You were over there.† That sobered me again. She glanced toward the south, though there was nothing to see now but the crumpled side of the van. â€Å"You were by your car.† â€Å"No, I wasn't.† â€Å"I saw you,† she insisted; her voice was childlike when she was being stubborn. Her chin jutted out. â€Å"Bella, I was standing with you, and I pulled you out of the way.† I stared deeply into her wide eyes, trying to will her into accepting my version – the only rational version on the table. Her jaw set. â€Å"No.† I tried to stay calm, to not panic. If only I could keep her quiet for a few moments, to give me a chance to destroy the evidence†¦.and undermine her story by disclosing her head injury. Shouldn't it be easy to keep this silent, secretive girl quiet? If only she would trust me, just for a few moments†¦ â€Å"Please, Bella,† I said, and my voice was too intense, because I suddenly wanted her to trust me. Wanted it badly, and not just in regards to this accident. A stupid desire. What sense would it make for her to trust me? â€Å"Why?† she asked, still defensive. â€Å"Trust me,† I pleaded. â€Å"Will you promise to explain everything to me later?† It made me angry to have to lie to her again, when I so much wished that I could somehow deserve her trust. So, when I answered her, it was a retort. â€Å"Fine.† â€Å"Fine,† she echoed in the same tone. While the rescue attempt began around us – adults arriving, authorities called, sirens in the distance – I tried to ignore the girl and get my priorities in the right order. I searched through every mind in the lot, the witnesses and the latecomers both, but I could find nothing dangerous. Many were surprised to see me here beside Bella, but all concluded – as there was no other possible conclusion – that they had just not noticed me standing by the girl before the accident. She was the only one who didn't accept the easy explanation, but she would be considered the least reliable witness. She had been frightened, traumatized, not to mention sustaining the blow to the head. Possibly in shock. It would be acceptable for her story to be confused, wouldn't it? No one would give it much credence above so many other spectators†¦ I winced when I caught the thoughts of Rosalie, Jasper and Emmett, just arriving on the scene. There would be hell to pay for this tonight. I wanted to iron out the indention my shoulders had made against the tan car, but the girl was too close. I'd have to wait till she was distracted. It was frustrating to wait – so many eyes on me – as the humans struggled with the van, trying to pull it away from us. I might have helped them, just to speed the process, but I was already in enough trouble and the girl had sharp eyes. Finally, they were able to shift it far enough away for the EMTs to get to us with their stretchers. A familiar, grizzled face appraised me. â€Å"Hey, Edward,† Brett Warner said. He was also a registered nurse, and I knew him well from the hospital. It was a stroke of luck – the only luck today – that he was the first through to us. In his thoughts, he was noting that I looked alert and calm. â€Å"You okay, kid?† â€Å"Perfect, Brett. Nothing touched me. But I'm afraid Bella here might have a concussion. She really hit her head when I yanked her out of the way†¦Ã¢â‚¬  Brett turned his attention to the girl, who shot me a fierce look of betrayal. Oh, that was right. She was the quiet martyr – she'd prefer to suffer in silence. She did not contradict my story immediately, though, and this made me feel easier. The next EMT tried to insist that I allow myself to be treated, but it wasn't too difficult to dissuade him. I promised I would let my father examine me, and he let it go. With most humans, speaking with cool assurance was all that was needed. Most humans, just not the girl, of course. Did she fit into any of the normal patterns? As they put a neck brace on her – and her face flushed scarlet with embarrassment – I used the moment of distraction to quietly rearrange the shape of the dent in the tan car with the back of my foot. Only my siblings noticed what I was doing, and I heard Emmett's mental promise to catch anything I missed. Grateful for his help – and more grateful that Emmett, at least, had already forgiven my dangerous choice – I was more relaxed as I climbed into the front seat of the ambulance next to Brett. The chief of police arrived before they had gotten Bella into the back of the ambulance. Though Bella's father's thoughts were past words, the panic and concern emanating out of the man's mind drown out just about every other thought in the vicinity. Wordless anxiety and guilt, a great swell of them, washed out of him as he saw his only daughter on the gurney. Washed out of him and through me, echoing and growing stronger. When Alice had warned me that killing Charlie Swan's daughter would kill him, too, she had not been exaggerating. My head bowed with that guilt as I listened to his panicked voice. â€Å"Bella!† he shouted. â€Å"I'm completely fine, Char – Dad.† She sighed. â€Å"There's nothing wrong with me.† Her assurance barely soothed his dread. He turned at once to the closest EMT and demanded more information. I wasn't until I heard him speaking, forming perfectly coherent sentences despite his panic, that I realized that his anxiety and concern were not wordless. I just†¦could not hear the exact words. Hmm. Charlie Swan was not as silent as his daughter, but I could see where she got it from. Interesting. I'd never spent much time around the town's police chief. I'd always taken him for a man of slow thought – now I realized that I was the one who was slow. His thoughts were partially concealed, not absent. I could only make out the tenor, the tone of them†¦ I wanted to listen harder, to see if I could find in this new, lesser puzzle the key to the girl's secrets. But Bella was loaded into the back by then, and the ambulance was on its way. It was hard to tear myself away from this possible solution to the mystery that had come to obsess me. But I had to think now – to look at what had been done today from every angle. I had to listen, to make sure that I had not put us all in so much danger that we would have to leave immediately. I had to concentrate. There was nothing in the thoughts of the EMTs to worry me. As far as they could tell, there was nothing seriously wrong with the girl. And Bella was sticking to the story I'd provided, thus far. The first priority, when we reached the hospital, was to see Carlisle. I hurried through the automatic doors, but I was unable to totally forgo watching after Bella; I kept an eye on her through the paramedics' thoughts. It was easy to find my father's familiar mind. He was in his small office, all alone – the second stroke of luck in this luckless day. â€Å"Carlisle.† He'd heard my approach, and he was alarmed as soon as he saw my face. He jumped to his feet, his face paling to bone white. He leaned forward across the neatly organized walnut desk. Edward – you didn't – â€Å"No, no, it's not that.† He took deep breath. Of course not. I'm sorry I entertained the thought. Your eyes, of course, I should have known†¦ He noted my still-golden eyes with relief. â€Å"She's hurt, though, Carlisle, probably not seriously, but – â€Å" â€Å"What happened?† â€Å"A stupid car accident. She was in the wrong place at the wrong time. But I couldn't just stand there – let it crush her – â€Å" Start over, I don't understand. How were you involved? â€Å"A van skidded across the ice,† I whispered. I stared at the wall behind him while I spoke. Instead of a throng of framed diplomas, he had one simple oil painting – a favorite of his, an undiscovered Hassam. â€Å"She was in the way. Alice saw it coming, but there wasn't time to do anything but really run across the lot and shove her out of the way. No one noticed†¦except for her. I had to stop the van, too, but again, nobody saw that†¦besides her. I'm†¦I'm sorry Carlisle. I didn't mean to put us in danger.† He circled the desk and put his hand on my shoulder. You did the right thing. And it couldn't have been easy for you. I'm proud of you, Edward. I could look him in the eye then. â€Å"She knows there's something†¦wrong with me.† â€Å"That doesn't matter. If we have to leave, we leave. What has she said?† I shook my head, a little frustrated. â€Å"Nothing yet.† Yet? â€Å"She agreed to my version of events – but she's expecting an explanation.† He frowned, pondering this. â€Å"She hit her head – well, I did that,† I continued quickly. â€Å"I knocked her to the ground fairly hard. She seems fine, but†¦ I don't think it will take much to discredit her account.† I felt like a cad just saying the words. Carlisle heard the distaste in my voice. Perhaps that won't be necessary. Let's see what happens, shall we? It sounds like I have a patient to check on. â€Å"Please,† I said. â€Å"I'm so worried that I hurt her.† Carlisle's expression brightened. He smoothed his fair hair – just a few shades lighter than his golden eyes – and he laughed. It's been an interesting day for you, hasn't it? In his mind, I could see the irony, and it was humorous, at least to him. Quite the reversal of roles. Somewhere during that short thoughtless second when I'd sprinted across the icy lot, I had transformed from killer to protector. I laughed with him, remembering how sure I'd been that Bella would never need protecting from anything more than myself. There was an edge to my laugh because, van notwithstanding, that was still entirely true. I waited alone in Carlisle's office – one of the longer hours I had ever lived – listening to the hospital full of thoughts. Tyler Crowley, the van's driver, looked to be hurt worse than Bella, and the attention shifted to him while she waited her turn to be X-rayed. Carlisle kept in the background, trusting the PA's diagnosis that the girl was only slightly injured. This made me anxious, but I knew he was right. One glance at his face and she would be immediately reminded of me, of the fact that there was something not right about my family, and that might set her talking. She certainly had a willing enough partner to converse with. Tyler was consumed with guilt over the fact that he had almost killed her, and he couldn't seem to shut up about it. I could see her expression through his eyes, and it was clear that she wished he would stop. How did he not see that? There was a tense moment for me when Tyler asked her how she'd gotten out of the way. I waited, not breathing, as she hesitated. â€Å"Um†¦Ã¢â‚¬  he heard her say. Then she paused for so long that Tyler wondered if his question had confused her. Finally, she went on. â€Å"Edward pulled me out of the way.† I exhaled. And then my breathing accelerated. I'd never heard her speak my name before. I like the way it sounded – even just hearing it through Tyler's thoughts. I wanted to hear it for myself†¦ â€Å"Edward Cullen,† she said, when Tyler didn't realize who she meant. I found myself at the door, my hand on the knob. The desire to see her was growing stronger. I had to remind myself of the need for caution. â€Å"He was standing next to me.† â€Å"Cullen?† Huh. That's weird. â€Å"I didn't see him.† I could have sworn†¦ â€Å"Wow, it was all so fast, I guess. Is he okay?† â€Å"I think so. He's here somewhere, but they didn't make him use a stretcher.† I saw the thoughtful look on her face, the suspicious tightening of her eyes, but these little changes in her expression were lost on Tyler. She's pretty, he was thinking, almost in surprise. Even all messed up. Not my usual type, still†¦ I should take her out. Make up for today†¦ I was out in the hall, then, halfway to the emergency room, without thinking for one second about what I was doing. Luckily, the nurse entered the room before I could – it was Bella's turn for X-rays. I leaned against the wall in a dark nook just around the corner, and tried to get a grip on myself while she was wheeled away. It didn't matter that Tyler thought she was pretty. Anyone would notice that. There was no reason for me to feel†¦how did I feel? Annoyed? Or was angry closer to the truth? That made no sense at all. I stayed where I was for as long as I could, but impatience got the best of me and I took a back way around to the radiology room. She'd already been moved back to the ER, but I was able to take a peek at her x-rays while the nurse's back was turned. I felt calmer when I had. Her head was fine. I hadn't hurt her, not really. Carlisle caught me there. You look better, he commented. I just looked straight ahead. We weren't alone, the halls full of orderlies and visitors. Ah, yes. He stuck her x-rays to the lightboard, but I didn't need a second look. I see. She's absolutely fine. Well done, Edward. The sound of my father's approval created a mixed reaction in me. I would have been pleased, except that I knew that he would not approve of what I was going to do now. At least, he would not approve if he knew my real motivations†¦ â€Å"I think I'm going to go talk to her – before she sees you,† I murmured under my breath. â€Å"Act natural, like nothing happened. Smooth it over.† All acceptable reasons. Carlisle nodded absently, still looking over the x-rays. â€Å"Good idea. Hmm.† I looked to see what had his interest. Look at all the healed contusions! How many times did her mother drop her? Carlisle laughed to himself at his joke. â€Å"I'm beginning to think the girl just has really bad luck. Always in the wrong place at the wrong time.† Forks is certainly the wrong place for her, with you here. I flinched. Go ahead. Smooth things over. I'll join you momentarily. I walked away quickly, feeling guilty. Perhaps I was too good a liar, if I could fool Carlisle. When I got to the ER, Tyler was mumbling under his breath, still apologizing. The girl was trying to escape his remorse by pretending to sleep. Her eyes were closed, but her breathing was not even, and now and then her fingers would twitch impatiently. I stared at her face for a long moment. This was the last time I would see her. That fact triggered an acute aching in my chest. Was it because I hated to leave any puzzle unsolved? That did not seem like enough of an explanation. Finally, I took a deep breath and moved into view. When Tyler saw me, he started to speak, but I put one finger to my lips. â€Å"Is she sleeping?† I murmured. Bella's eyes snapped open and focused on my face. They widened momentarily, and then narrowed in anger or suspicion. I remembered that I had a role to play, so I smiled at her as if nothing unusual had happened this morning – besides a blow to her head and a bit of imagination run wild. â€Å"Hey, Edward,† Tyler said. â€Å"I'm really sorry – â€Å" I raised one hand to halt his apology. â€Å"No blood, no foul,† I said wryly. Without thinking, I smiled too widely at my private joke. It was amazingly easy to ignore Tyler, lying no more than four feet from me, covered in fresh blood. I'd never understood how Carlisle was able to do that – ignore the blood of his patients in order to treat them. Wouldn't the constant temptation be so distracting, so dangerous†¦? But, now†¦ I could see how, if you were focusing on something else hard enough, the temptation was be nothing at all. Even fresh and exposed, Tyler's blood had nothing on Bella's. I kept my distance from her, seating myself on the foot of Tyler's mattress. â€Å"So, what's the verdict?† I asked her. Her lower lip pushed out a little. â€Å"There's nothing wrong with me at all, but they won't let me go. How come you aren't strapped to a gurney like the rest of us?† Her impatience made me smile again. I could hear Carlisle in the hall now. â€Å"It's all about who you know,† I said lightly. â€Å"But don't worry, I came to spring you.† I watched her reaction carefully as my father entered the room. Her eyes widened and her mouth actually fell open in surprise. I groaned internally. Yes, she'd certainly noticed the resemblance. â€Å"So, Miss Swan, how are you feeling?† Carlisle asked. He had a wonderfully soothing beside manner that put most patients at ease within moments. I couldn't tell how it affected Bella. â€Å"I'm fine,† she said quietly. Carlisle clipped her X-rays to the lightboard by the bed. â€Å"Your X-rays look good. Does your head hurt? Edward said you hit it pretty hard.† She sighed, and said, â€Å"I'm fine,† again, but this time impatience leaked into her voice. Then she glowered once in my direction. Carlisle stepped closer to her and ran his fingers gently over her scalp until he found the bump under her hair. I was caught off guard by the wave of emotion that crashed over me. I had seen Carlisle work with humans a thousand times. Years ago, I had even assisted him informally – though only in situations where blood was not involved. So it wasn't a new thing to me, to watch him interact with the girl as if he were as human as she was. I'd envied his control many times, but that was not the same as this emotion. I envied him more than his control. I ached for the difference between Carlisle and me – that he could touch her so gently, without fear, knowing he would never harm her†¦ She winced, and I twitched in my seat. I had to concentrate for a moment to keep my relaxed posture. â€Å"Tender?† Carlisle asked. Her chin jerked up a fraction. â€Å"Not really,† she said. Another small piece of her character fell into place: she was brave. She didn't like to show weakness. Possibly the most vulnerable creature I'd ever seen, and she didn't want to seem weak. A chuckle slid through my lips. She shot another glare at me. â€Å"Well,† Carlisle said. â€Å"Your father is in the waiting room – you can go home with him now. But come back if you feel dizzy or have trouble with your eyesight at all.† Her father was here? I swept through the thoughts in the crowded waiting room, but I couldn't pick his subtle mental voice out of the group before she was speaking again, her face anxious. â€Å"Can't I go back to school?† â€Å"Maybe you should take it easy today,† Carlisle suggested. Her eyes flickered back to me. â€Å"Does he get to go to school?† Act normal, smooth things over†¦ignore the way it feels when she looks me in the eye†¦ â€Å"Someone has to spread the good news that we survived,† I said. â€Å"Actually,† Carlisle corrected, â€Å"most of the school seems to be in the waiting room.† I anticipated her reaction this time – her aversion to attention. She didn't disappoint. â€Å"Oh no,† she moaned, and she put her hands over her face. I liked that I'd finally guessed right. I was beginning to understand her†¦ â€Å"Do you want to stay?† Carlisle asked. â€Å"No, no!† she said quickly, swinging her legs over the side of the mattress and sliding down till her feet were on the floor. She stumbled forward, off-balance, into Carlisle's arms. He caught and steadied her. Again, the envy flooded through me. â€Å"I'm fine,† she said before he could comment, faint pink in her cheeks. Of course, that wouldn't bother Carlisle. He made sure she was balanced, and then dropped his hands. â€Å"Take some Tylenol for the pain,† he instructed. â€Å"It doesn't hurt that bad.† Carlisle smiled as he signed her chart. â€Å"It sounds like you were extremely lucky.† She turned her face slightly, to stare at me with hard eyes. â€Å"Lucky Edward happened to be standing next to me.† â€Å"Oh, well, yes,† Carlisle agreed quickly, hearing the same thing in her voice that I heard. She hadn't written her suspicions off as imagination. Not yet. All yours, Carlisle thought. Handle it as you think best. â€Å"Thanks so much,† I whispered, quick and quiet. Neither human heard me. Carlisle's lips turned up a tiny bit at my sarcasm as he turned to Tyler. â€Å"I'm afraid that you'll have to stay with us just a little bit longer,† he said as he began examining the slashes left by the shattered windshield. Well, I'd made the mess, so it was only fair that I had to deal with it. Bella walked deliberately toward me, not stopping until she was uncomfortably close. I remembered how I had hoped, before all the mayhem, that she would approach me†¦ This was like a mockery of that wish. â€Å"Can I talk to you for a minute?† she hissed at me. Her warm breath brushed my face and I had to stagger back a step. Her appeal had not abated one bit. Every time she was near me, it triggered all my worst, most urgent instincts. Venom flowed in my mouth and my body yearned to strike – to wrench her into my arms and crush her throat to my teeth. My mind was stronger than my body, but only just. â€Å"Your father is waiting for you,† I reminded her, my jaw clenched tight. She glanced toward Carlisle and Tyler. Tyler was paying us no attention at all, but Carlisle was monitoring my every breath. Carefully, Edward. â€Å"I'd like to speak to you alone, if you don't mind,† she insisted in a low voice. I wanted to tell her that I did mind very much, but I knew I would have to do this eventually. I may as well get on with it. I was full of so many conflicting emotions as I stalked out of the room, listening to her stumbling footsteps behind me, trying to keep up. I had a show to put on now. I knew the role I would play – I had the character down: I would be the villain. I would lie and ridicule and be cruel. It went against all my better impulses – the human impulses that I'd clung to through all these years. I'd never wanted to deserve trust more than in this moment, when I had to destroy all possibility of it. It made it worse to know that this would be the last memory she would have of me. This was my farewell scene. I turned on her. â€Å"What do you want?† I asked coldly. She cringed back slightly from my hostility. Her eyes turned bewildered, the expression that had haunted me†¦ â€Å"You owe me an explanation,† she said in a small voice; her ivory face blanched. It was very hard to keep my voice harsh. â€Å"I saved your life – I don't owe you anything.† She flinched – it burned like acid to watch my words hurt her. â€Å"You promised,† she whispered. â€Å"Bella, you hit your head, you don't know what you're talking about.† Her chin came up then. â€Å"There's nothing wrong with my head.† She was angry now, and that made it easier for me. I met her glare, making my face more unfriendly. â€Å"What do you want from me, Bella?† â€Å"I want to know the truth. I want to know why I'm lying for you.† What she wanted was only fair – it frustrated me to have to deny her. â€Å"What do you think happened?† I nearly growled at her. Her words poured out in a torrent. â€Å"All I know is that you weren't anywhere near me – Tyler didn't see you, either, so don't tell me I hit my head too hard. That van was going to crush us both – and it didn't, and your hands left dents in the side of it – and you left a dent in the other car, and you're not hurt at all – and the van should have smashed my legs, but you were holding it up†¦Ã¢â‚¬  Suddenly, she clenched her teeth together and her eyes were glistening with unshed tears. I stared at her, my expression derisive, though what I really felt was awe; she had seen everything. â€Å"You think I lifted a van off you?† I asked sarcastically. She answered with one stiff nod. My voice grew more mocking. â€Å"Nobody will believe that, you know.† She made an effort to control her anger. When she answered me, she spoke each word with slow deliberation. â€Å"I'm not going to tell anybody.† She meant it – I could see that in her eyes. Even furious and betrayed, she would keep my secret. Why? The shock of it ruined my carefully designed expression for half a second, and then I pulled myself together. â€Å"Then why does it matter?† I asked, working to keep my voice severe. â€Å"It matters to me,† she said intensely. â€Å"I don't like to lie – so there'd better be a good reason why I'm doing it.† She was asking me to trust her. Just as I wanted her to trust me. But this was a line I could not cross. My voice stayed callous. â€Å"Can't you just thank me and get it over with?† â€Å"Thank you,† she said, and then she fumed silently, waiting. â€Å"You're not going to let it go, are you?† â€Å"No.† â€Å"In that case†¦Ã¢â‚¬  I couldn't tell her the truth if I wanted to†¦and I didn't want to. I'd rather she made up her own story than know what I was, because nothing could be worse than the truth – I was a living nightmare, straight from the pages of a horror novel. â€Å"I hope you enjoy disappointment.† We scowled at each other. It was odd how endearing her anger was. Like a furious kitten, soft and harmless, and so unaware of her own vulnerability. She flushed pink and ground her teeth together again. â€Å"Why did you even bother?† Her question wasn't one that I was expecting or prepared to answer. I lost my hold on the role I was playing. I felt the mask slip from my face, and I told her – this one time – the truth. â€Å"I don't know.† I memorized her face one last time – it was still set in lines of anger, the blood not yet faded from her cheeks – and then I turned and walked away from her.